


Depression

by Steph_R94



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Depression, Sucidial Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7369162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_R94/pseuds/Steph_R94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Depression

**Author's Note:**

> Buffy the Vampire Slayer belongs to Joss Whedon.

                The tower rocked and groaned underneath her feet, but Dawn found that she didn’t care. In the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t be up here; if it tumbled down now, Buffy jumping in her place would be in vain; but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.

                Earlier that month, she had been bathing and sank underneath the water….and wondered how badly it would hurt to drown. To do so would have been easy. After all, no one was paying attention to her. They were all lost in their own pain, their own grief. No one would have come to check on her until it was too late. She let out her air and waited. The burning in her lungs, however, had triggered some need in her to survive.

                She’d heard cutting would ease the pain. Something about releasing endorphins…but it didn’t. It just hurt and made one more thing that she needed to conceal. She had been smarter than the last time; she had cut somewhere that was easy to hide.

                The tower let out a deafening groan and swayed with the wind. Dawn closed her eyes.

                _‘Right,’_ she thought mutedly, _‘I should probably get down.’_ But her feet didn’t move. She didn’t care enough to move. Who would miss her anyway?

                Somewhere underneath the thick haze, she knew that there were plenty of people who would. Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, Spike, and her few friends at school: they would miss her and probably beat themselves up every day for not noticing how deeply she had fallen.

                Besides them, Buffy would be angry if she knew. She would be hurt too.

                Somewhere underneath the depression she had sunk into, she knew she didn’t really want to die; but…it would be so easy. She wouldn’t have to deal with these thoughts anymore. She wouldn’t have to deal with the pain inside of her…All she had to do was step one foot off the tower.

                Still, she didn’t move.

                Maybe she was waiting for the tower to fall apart itself and make the decision for her.

                She sat down; her feet dangled from the edge. Just a push…and she would be falling. Her arms stayed in her lap. Her eyes fixed on the ground below. She could almost see it rushing up to meet her. Her heart raced at the fear she knew she would feel. She closed her eyes to block the image out.

                She didn’t open her eyes until all she saw was relative darkness. The sun had finally went down…which meant Spike would be looking for her soon. She forced herself to stand. She moved back away from the edge of the tower and climbed down the long steps.

                As she took the steps down, she thought of Buffy’s final words to her—“ _The hardest thing in this world is to live in it”—_ and wondered if Buffy had actually thought they would give her peace.


End file.
